I saw a brown butterfly yesterday morning.
The moment I stepped out of the front door, a brown butterfly flitted right in front of me then flew to the garden. When I looked at it, it perched at a tree branch and stopped flapping its wings. It looked like the brown butterfly I saw awhile back (as mentioned in my post, It’s been two months). It stopped moving the way I remembered it, like it was paying serious attention to what I was doing. I just stared at it in wonder.
Now what’s the big deal about this butterfly?
I celebrated my birthday last Monday until the next day. On Tuesday night before I fell asleep, I wondered how my birthday came and went, but I didn’t dream of Zack or experience anything related to him.
Until yesterday morning.
The thing is, I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate my birthday last Monday. Before I slept on Sunday night, I turned off my phone and went to bed before midnight. I woke up around 8AM and didn’t leave the bed until 10-10:30AM. I hid under the blanket for the most part, while checking my phone and FB. It was pretty amazing at how many birthday greets I received this year. I spent time thanking each person, then eventually hauled myself out of the bed. The Birthday Gal had a lunch date with her family. It actually ended up great, though my mom took a stolen shot of me where I was just staring blankly into space. That picture captured so much. When we got home, I went under the blanket again and fell asleep. Before dinner, my VFF messaged. He wanted to meet up, so we did. The three of us were out till past midnight, plotting future travel.
When we got home, I confessed to my husband how much I missed Zack on my birthday. I was sad and upset that he wasn’t around, although I understand it’s all for the best. Pets might depend on you for everything, but in return, they give you everything they have and more. With people, they can change their minds and decide one day that they don’t love you anymore. They can ignore you and break your heart without hesitation, no matter how much you love them.
That’s why seeing that brown butterfly yesterday morning meant the world to me. It’s a reminder that even if he’s not physically around, his love remains. So few things in this world are unchanging.