It’s been four weeks

Four weeks ago, I remember wondering how I will get through the days to come.

You see, Zack wasn’t just a dog to us. The moment we brought Zack home, we decided that he will always be considered in our decision-making. We never viewed him as a nuisance or an inconvenience. At first, we weren’t sure how he’d fare when we traveled. His first trip was to Baltimore when he was 4 months old. He sat in his car seat and refused to pee outside during stops. Then we tried having him stay with my older sister since they’re a mutual admiration club. Eventually, hubby and I agreed that if we travel, then Zack will travel with us. If we need to stay in pet-friendly places, then we’ll stay in pet-friendly places. If we need to eat at restaurants with outdoor seating just so he can be accommodated, then so be it.

We were a team…heck, you can even call it a pack. Zack was a major part of our triumvirate. Without him, we feel incomplete.

We went to Kalibo and Tagaytay lately, both times we stayed in non-pet-friendly places. Which made me upset because we wouldn’t be staying in those places if Zack was alive! And yet traveling is also a good way for us to deal with our grief. When we travel, we talk about the happy times with Zack, especially how we rely on him to let us know whether or not a hotel is clean.

What’s still tough for me right now is actually seeing other dogs. I know, I know…how on earth am I supposed to avoid that, especially in this country where it seems like shih tzu is the favorite breed? I walk quickly past the dogs, pet stores, etcetera. I don’t even look. I miss Zack already, yet somehow, seeing all those other dogs makes me miss him all the more.

I’m a long way from anything. I’m still navigating my way around my grief.

 

 

 

 

 

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