Our little guy’s been sick since the start of the month. We’ve been to five different veterinary clinics. He’s had one night of confinement. Severe dehydration, pneumonia, napilay pa – we’ve been seeing the vet practically everyday, but seeing no improvements. Yesterday, we finally decided to get a second opinion.
After they did the tests, Zack has inflamed liver and kidneys, which made the pneumonia seem minor. Prognosis: one month. He has deteriorated much in such a short span of time; it’s really and truly heartbreaking.
Zack’s my little guy, my sidekick, my little baby, my snuggle bug. I’m not strong enough for this. My heart breaks into tiny pieces watching him struggle. I love my little boy. I know this pain I feel is the price to pay for such love. I also know that he’s in pain. I’ve told him over and over again how much we love him. I’ve told him that if he wants to rest, then he should. I’ve held him in my arms. Last night, we watched his old videos taken when he traveled with us.
Back when I’d get sick often, he was my nurse, constantly checking up on me. But now it’s my turn to give back to him what he has given us for the past 14 years – love, devotion and loyalty. He deserves no less.
Today’s vet said that putting him to sleep is an option. We said no. We will bid him farewell and good night with a kiss on his forehead when it’s time. Not sooner. He will go when he’s ready. If he fights, we fight. If he wants to rest, we’ll be fine with that too.
I do know that it’s a good time as any to let go and let God. I believe in the power of prayer. Right now though, I’m torn between wanting him to get better and wanting him to rest.
In the meantime, please send him whatever positive energy you can muster.